


Snatchin'

by Gandalfgirl579



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Body snatching, Comedy, Horror, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gandalfgirl579/pseuds/Gandalfgirl579
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Only a few hours dead." There was something like pride in Jean's voice, and Dr. Jaeger raised a brow at him, a disbelieving look coming across his stern face. "Nicked him from a wake. Worth quite a bit more the rotters I usually bring in, yeah?"</p><p>A most peculiar Victorian horror-comedy AU in which Jean is a body snatcher, Doc Jaeger is a scientist, and Eren is the son who's suddenly decided he wants to be a snatcher, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snatchin'

"How old?"

 

"Few hours." There was something like pride in Jean's voice, and Doctor Jaeger raised a brow at him, a disbelieving look coming across his stern face. "Nicked him from a wake."

 

Unimpressed, Jaeger muttered, "Very classy."

 

"Innit?" Now it was Jean lifting a brow, giving the doctor a smug look. "Worth quite a bit more the rotters I usually bring in, yeah?" He glanced away for a moment, cleaning grave dirt from beneath his nails with the blade of the dull knife that lived in his pocket. "Maybe even worth double..."

 

For a moment, Jaeger seemed to consider that, though he cut himself off to glare up the creaky stairs leading to his storm cellar mortuary when the door creaked open, cold midnight air filtering in and lingering with the stench of rot and mold and formaldehyde. "Eren," he said, his voice frigid, "you aren't meant to be down here."

 

"I'm not meant to be alive at all since Mother died, but here I am." Eren rolled his eyes as he descended the stairs into the musty cellar. "We've company?" There was something playful in his voice. "Shall I put on the kettle?"

 

" _No_ , Eren."

 

"Never were very hospitable, eh?" There was something incredibly out of place about Eren, down in the dimness of the lab. He was too lively, all mischievous banter and bright eyes. When he approached the corpse laid out on his father's copper examination table, he asked softly, almost as if to not wake the body, "Who's this, then?"

 

"Not really sure," Jean admitted with a shrug, his previous arrogance melting away into nervousness. "Just some stiff or other. Think they were calling him Thomas at the wake…"

 

For an instant their eyes met, blue-green on gold, and Eren asked, "Can I help?"

 

Jean's brow furrowed at that. "…Dissecting him, y'mean?"

 

" _Snatching_." Eren shot a dirty look over at his father. "More interesting than being forced into medical school, I'd wager."

 

Jaeger gave a dirty look of his own then, the light of the sconces on the walls playing menacingly along the lenses of his glasses. "You _will_ attend the academy, Eren," was all he had to say. His voice was the sound of glass test tubes clinking together, sharp, shattering.

 

"So you've said." Those lovely eyes rolled again, glimmering nearly amber in the lamplight. They were a strange, unnameable color, caught between blue and green, streaked with gold. "No harm in having a li'l fun before I go, though, eh?"

 

X.X

 

" _The Lazy Spider_?" The name came along with a scoff. "What sorta name is that?"

 

"I'm not the one who named it. Now c'mon. There's someone we gotta talk to." Jean could do nothing to hide his wry little grin, taking Eren's arm and pulling him into the pub. The whiskey-scented smoke inside was far preferable to the harsh November chill outside. "Armin!"

 

"Evening!" A tiny blonde boy stood behind the bar at the back of the seedy little pub, his smile outshining the dim oil lamps lining the wall behind him. "You brought a friend, Jean?" His eyes were wide and curious, the color of sapphires held up to the sun. "Didn't know you had those."

 

"Aren't you a funny one." There was no humor in Jean's voice when he claimed his usual seat at the bar, though Eren snorted when he claimed the stool at his side. "This is Eren." He indicated his apprentice-for-the-night with a slap on the back. "He's Doc Jaeger's son."

 

"Really?" Armin's eyes roved for an instant, filling two cloudy glasses without looking away from his guests. The liquid was foggy, low quality, though that didn't come as a surprise. With a name like the Lazy Spider, Eren had expected nothing better. "You don't really look like him..."

 

"Stroke of luck," was all Eren had to say, grinning and grabbing at the glass the little bartender sat before him.

 

Rolling his eyes with a ghost of a smile at his lips, Jean asked of Armin, "Heard anything interesting lately?"

 

"I have, actually!" Armin leaned closer, futilely trying to polish a yellowed glass mug. "I heard there's a fresh one buried at the crossroads outside Kingsbury. A suicide or a nonbeliever or something of the sort, the poor soul. Sasha saw it buried last night."

 

"Never brought in one that fresh..." Jean twisted his mouth as he thought, slumping in on himself. To Eren, he said, "How much you think he'd pay for one that fresh?"

 

"Prob'ly not much more than usual," Eren replied with a shrug. "He's a cheapskate."  
  
  
Though Jean gave a soft huff of laughter, his irritation was obvious. "It's in Kingsbury, you said?" he asked Armin.

 

"At the crossroads _outside_ Kingsbury, yes."

 

Leaning closer, Eren asked, "Taking the wagon, I guess?"

 

"'Course." Something in Jean's voice was off. "Sounds too easy, though. It's nearby, and a fresh grave is easier to turn over..."

 

Eren picked up on Jean's scowl easily, asking, "You think it's a trap?"

 

"Could be."

 

Across the bar, Armin gave a reluctant nod of agreement.

 

"Snatching's a dangerous business." Jean glanced up then, snagging Eren's eyes with his own. "You sure you wanna do this? Could get into a lotta trouble. Snatching's not exactly legal."

 

"My father can pay my way oughta jail if need be."

 

"You think he'd actually do it?" There was something like real concern in Jean's voice.

 

"You don't think he would?" Eren's brow crinkled at that, eyes dropping to the scarred wood of the bar. "You're prob'ly right."

 

Grabbing onto the younger boy's arm, Jean tossed a few coins onto the bar, giving a nod to Armin before he and Eren headed outside. The Lazy Spider had a stable in the back, and he found his wagon just where he'd left it. He let Eren pet his mule's flank for a moment before he asked, "What's his problem with you, anyhow?"

 

"Whose?" Eren seemed genuinely distressed when he climbed onto the wagon. "He seemed to like me just fine..."

 

"Not Armin!" The reins snapped, and they were off. "I mean _the good doctor_." It came out as a slur. "You're his only kid. He oughta treat you better."

 

"I look like my mother, so..." Eren shrugged.

 

"And where's she?"

 

"Dead." It came with another shrug, as if it had been nothing at all that her life had ended. "She died when she was having me. He couldn't save her, and I guess he'd rather blame me for her dying than blaming himself."

 

"Selfish prick."

 

Eren actually laughed at that, the sound warm in the chilly air, echoing. "Guess that's where I get it from, eh?"

 

Jean felt his smile fade at that, and the November chill crept back in.

 

X.X

 

"Is this it?"

 

"Should be." Carefully tethering the wagon to a dead sapling at the roadside, Jean walked into the center of the dirt-paved road, stamping one booted foot down. "Look here. See how loose the dirt is here? It's been turned over recently. This is definitely it."

 

Soon, Eren was at his side, shovels in hand and a lantern at their feet, lighting the fresh-turned earth.

 

"How long does this usually take?" Eren finally asked, after nearly an hour of work. It was rather impressive that he'd held out so long. "My hands are bleeding."

 

"Depends on how deep it's buried." Jean soon followed suit, resting against the side of the hole they were gradually deepening-- It was four feet deep already. "It does go a lot quicker with help, though." He took a deep pull from the flask at his hip, offering it to Eren next. "Usually, they're six feet deep, and we're already down four. Shouldn't be too much longer." He tucked the flask away when Eren returned it, saying, "Let's keep at it. Don't wanna lose momentum when we're so close."

 

It was Eren who returned to work first, lifting shovelful after shovelful of dirt over his shoulder.

 

When they hit the five-foot-deep mark, Eren asked, "What if someone comes by?"

 

"That's why I work at night."

 

Another hour passed, and another foot of dirt was removed before Jean's shovel clunked into something solid with a rather meaty sound.

 

"Is that it?" Eren asked.

 

"Must be." Jean knelt, using his hand to bat a bit of dirt away, his brow furrowing in confusion and concern. "They didn't even give her a coffin." It was wrapped in a bloodied sheet, torn open a bit where the tip of the shovel had cut into its shoulder. His eyes found Eren's, demanding, "Climb out. Gimme a minute, and I'll bring her up."

 

Though he did as he was told, Eren found himself asking, "How do you know it's a her?"

 

"Can't really say," Jean admitted, pushing dirt away and hoisting the sheet-wrapped corpse over his shoulder, ignoring a pokey bit jabbing into him. It was most likely a displaced rib. "I've been doing this since I was a li'l lad. After so long, you just _know_."

 

"Fair 'nuff." Just the slightest bit hesitant, Eren gave Jean a hand up out of the whole, watching with wide eyes as the blonde laid the body out.

 

Gingerly unfolding the sheet, Jean tipped his head to the side.

 

She had been lovely, all chestnut hair and ivory skin, clad in a gown of fine lace.

 

The stake in her chest was rather disconcerting, however.

 

"What's that about?" Eren asked, kneeling at Jean's side. Slowly, cautiously, he ran his fingers along the polished wood sticking out of the woman's chest. Without much ceremony, he pulled it out, stuffing the stake into his pocket for safekeeping. It was to pretty a piece to simply toss away. "Disrespectful, leaving it like that."

 

"Bit." Jean stood, brushing dirt and dust from his trousers. "C'mon. You fill the hole back in and I'll make room on the cart. Then we'll be on our way."

 

Eren followed quickly, taking the shovel Jean offered and scooping mounds of soil back into the gaping hole they'd left in the middle of the road. "This is really what you do for a living?" he asked when the wintry silence became too much.

 

"'Course." Jean shoved another few shovels off to one side of the wagon's bed, a lantern or two soon joining, a large swath of white cloth pulled into his arms. "Doesn't make me a duke or anything, but it keeps food on the table, most days." Turning, the sheet bundled in his arms, Jean's eyes went wide. "Where is she?"

 

And Eren's eyes widened as well, the stake clutched tightly in his hand, buried deep in his pocket. "She was dead." His voice trembled, a leaf clinging against the winter wind. "How could--"

 

" _Was_ dead," Jean agreed. "That was no ordinary--"

 

His words were muted by the creature's call, her eyes blazing red when she leapt upon his shoulders, long canine teeth grazing the side of his neck.

 

"Jean!" Eren was at his side in an instant, fingers tangled into the creature's silken hair, though she soon turned on him, tackling him to the ground. On his back, his hands at her shoulders in a desperate attempt to hold her back, he took note of the polished stake in his hand.

 

With no grace whatsoever, he slotted it back into the place he'd found it, cackling when the creature slumped over on top of him.

 

"Are you laughing?" Leaning against the side of the wagon, clutching at his neck and struggling for breath, Jean rolled his eyes. "You're completely mad, aren't you?"

 

"A bit." He said it with pride. Watching Jean, he leaned over the corpse, pulling the stake free and sliding it home again, unperturbed when the woman briefly returned to life. "Lookit this!"

 

He repeated the motion, ("Alive…") the creature screaming to life for a moment before the stake resumed its former position ("Dead!"), and she fell comatose once more.

 

Again. "Alive… Dead!"

 

"Oi!"

 

"Alive…"

 

"Stop that, you mad bastard!" There was laughter in Jean's voice.

 

"Dead!"

 

" _Completely fecking mad_."

 

Still chuckling to himself, Eren stood, looking down at the strange alive-dead creature at his feet. "Do we just stick it back in the sheet?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Well, come give us a hand!"

 

"Piss off, I'm injured!"

 

Rolling his eyes, though unable to fight back his smile, Eren made his way to Jean, batting pale hands away from his neck and demanding, "Lemme peek."

 

"Hurts like Hell."

 

"Oh, she barely scratched you!" Eren's laughter echoed against the stars, brighter than they were by far.

 

"It hurts!"

 

"And you're a sissy Mary." Eren's pretty eyes rolled again, though his smile was a stubborn thing, steadfastly refusing to fade. "Now give us a hand getting this beast into the wagon."

 

After a small deal of work and a great deal of complaining from Jean, the creature was finally in the wagon, and Eren grinned saying, "You know my father's gonna pull that stake out, don'cha?"

 

Jean's responding smile glowed ivory in the moonlight. "You're wicked."

 

"You like it."

 

"I do, yeah. We'll make a proper snatcher of you yet."

 

X.X

 

"She's lovely."

 

"Fresh, too." Naturally, Eren was the one doing the showing off. "Just buried last night." He cast a cheeky grin up at his father, crossing his arms and leaning against Jean's side. "I'm pretty good at this, yeah?"

 

Jaeger didn't answer that, asking instead, "What's this in her chest?"

 

"Just a li'l decoration." Grabbing his fellow snatcher's arm, Eren said, "C'mon upstairs, Jean. I'll fix us some tea. Give _the good doctor_ a moment to get acquainted with his new lady friend."

 

Up the creaky stairs they went, the door clicking shut to the sound of the stake squelching free of the creature's flesh.

 

The sound of the deadbolt sliding into place was swallowed by the sounds of the good doctor's screams, the sounds of clanging metal and tearing flesh and cracking bone.

 

Jean sighed, leaning back against the door and breathing deep the frigid midnight air.

 

"You look kinda sick," Eren said, one brow lifting. "Bit green 'round the gills."

 

A scoff, and Jean clarified, "I forgot to collect the payment for the..." He gestured over his shoulder. "Whatever she was."

 

Giving a soft titter, Eren pulled a little velvet pouch from his pocket, saying, "Way ahead of you."

 

"You nicked your own father's coin purse?"

 

"Don't really think he'll be needing it." The bag was soon replaced, and Eren looped his arm through Jean's, pulling the blonde along through the darkness of the yard in the general direction of the wagon. "What say you we head back to the Lazy Spider and grab a bite to eat?"

 

"I _am_ a little peckish..." Jean scratched at the bite on his neck, which was mostly healed already. Strange. "I want a steak."

 

"Big spender." It came with a roll of Eren's lovely eyes, though how Jean could see it in the dark…

 

"I deserve it! The daft cow bit me!"

 

"True 'nuff."

 

"And I want it rare. I'm in the mood for something bloody."

**Author's Note:**

> …Did I just write a buddy piece?? 'Cause I think I did. I have never written anything remotely like this before. Victorian horror-comedy is entirely new to me. Inspiration was taken from a fantastic film by the name of I Sell The Dead, if you'd like more in this genre
> 
> This was also an experiment in world-building in short-order. How did I do? 
> 
> Excited for more? Have constructive criticism or even just silly comments to add? Let me know! And as always, I must mention that I go by SandCastleVirtues on Tumblr, and I'm totally open to taking questions and comments there! :)


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